So I thought I would begin with these 2 Bible verses because I believe they are fitting!
WARNING! This is probably going to be a long post!
I can do everything through him who gives me strength.
Philippians 4:13
The LORD is my strength and my song; he has become my salvation. He is my God, and I will praise him, my father's God, and I will exalt him.
Exodus 15:2
My first year of college has been quite the journey. After thinking I was so prepared to start a new chapter of my life 12 hours away from home, I got a rude awakening. Part of my personality has always had me being happy, laughing, and fun loving, but my first (and a bit of my second) semester at college really broke me down. My year started off great. I had found a couple of friends, and I was lucky enough to have a lot of my family living an hour away from me. Then came the distractions...I am not the only person who found my fall and winter months of college difficult. My family hit rock bottom. They had literally lost everything, and seeing all of this take place right before my eyes was heartbreaking. It was so hard for me to wrap my mind around, and I still don't understand everything about what happened to this day. I was also balancing that with the struggles of my grandpa being in and out of the hospital during those months. I was living two lives. I was feeling so much confusion and sadness on the inside, but I've never really been the serious kind of person, so I just continued being my happy self. Then Satan continued to break me down by giving me negative feelings about myself and the abilities God gave me. I had originally auditioned as a musical theater major at Belmont. I was going to devote my whole life to this field, and I would have loved every minute of it. After finding out I did not make the program but made it into the school of music as a regular voice major, I still wanted to study at Belmont. I loved the school of music, but I found myself filling up with jealousy because the life I saw the musical theater majors living was the only thing I had wanted: a close group of people who loved the same thing I did, performing, and just being on the stage. I found myself missing home and missing my times in high school where I could be involved in anything I wanted in the music program. Then I got broken down the most towards the end of my 1st semester when one of my instructors believed that he found me guilty of academic dishonesty. This piled extreme stress on my shoulders..going to meeting after meeting after meeting..constantly pleading my case and what I believed to be true. Academics have always been important to me, and I like to think I am a genuine person. The worst feeling came when I had to meet with a counsel of my peers and discuss my case alongside the teacher. After explaining myself and trying to show my fellow students that I was genuine and telling the truth, I recieve a letter from the counsel saying that they have sided with the professor because they believed that there was deceit involved in the case I presented. Wow! another slap in the face. Not only had I been told that I was a cheater, but I was also told that I was dishonest and deceitful by people who don't even know me. Luckily God was always by my side. In the times that we are at the bottom, feeling vulnerable, feeling defeated, that is when we can really experience God. I have gotten so much closer to God this year because of all of this. God was there when he started to bring my family back up, and he was there when I switched majors within the school of music, and he was there when I put myself together and met with the Provost of the school (the person who made the final decision on my case) The Provost was the only person left I needed to convince, and finally I did and got off with no academis dishonesty on my file. He is ALWAYS there...no matter how hard, trying, or bad the sitation is, he is ALWAYS there. To strengthen us. He was also there in February when it was time for my grandpa to give up the battle. He had been in and out of the hospital, and it was finally his time. But happiness also came out of this because it brought a family that was already so close even closer. I now know that I don't have to worry about what the future holds because I know God will always be there by my side. Now I can just do me, enjoy what I have, and be happy!
:)
